I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize