My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize