i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
