I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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