It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
