Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
