just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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