you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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