Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I AM VODKA MAN
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just want nice things and good sex
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize