walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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