i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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