I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize