i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
