Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
