Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
