Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
