i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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