is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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