Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
