You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
