U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
