I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
