Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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