Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
