i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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