so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
