You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i've created a new STD.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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