Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just had sex on a roof
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
