Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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