I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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