Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
