Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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