he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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