No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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