Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
