clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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