Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
