Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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