she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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