That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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