I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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