I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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