You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
