Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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