Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
