I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
