I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
