if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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