doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
