Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
