yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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