halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
