yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She needs sedatives and a leash
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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