thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
