It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
