Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
