i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
even my farts smell like vagina
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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