we have officially lost it.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
