really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
