Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im holly from the hills drunk
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize